Getting to know who I really am has got me walking on literally on nails.

I watch what I say, how I say it and most of all when I should say what’s on my mind. It can be exhausting at times always having to double check myself. Now that I know me it’s as if I’m always under control and weird enough I’m the one doing the controling. I say black, my mind says maybe it’s white or even gray which is wonderful. Having different opinions is always good. The fact that I have to convince myself to do what I want can seem so silly at times. It shouldn’t be hard to decide right? Should I force that part of me in disagreement to do as I say?

I have noticed that forcing, coercing or even trying to convince myself doesn’t work. The only time I can get myself to do something I don’t want to do is when it affects my mental and physical health. That’s the only time I am in agreement with myself. So far all of my most important decisions have been made that way. My next stage in getting to know me better is to be able to decide before my health is at risk.